Atropa Belladonna
by AlluringSiren
Summary: The reliance on hallucinogenics is no safe route to go. But if it's the only way to have one sweet dream amongst every last little nightmare eating at his insides, Dean Winchester might just consider the nasty habit.


Dean opened his eyes lazily as he tossed around a bit in the motel bed, squinting at the rays of sunlight that pierced through the blinds in irritation. With a grunt, he pulled his pillow over his head and sighed into it. Nope- it wasn't a dream. He was out of Purgatory and back with Sammy, and damn was he ever happy about it. He had an epiphany of sorts on his way out of Purgatory; certain that he would spend the rest of his life ganking monsters alongside his brother, who upon his escape- wasn't so hot about it anymore. It angered him. _I want that life _Sammy said, just because he got a taste of it for a year. Well you know what? So did Dean. With Lisa and Ben. He was a _father_. But he still abandoned that life, because he knew it was the right thing to do.

"Dean." An all too familiar gruff voice called out, luring him out from beneath the pillow.

"Cas?" The hunter confirmed the identity of the previously disembodied voice, locking eyes with the angel as soon as he sat up from the bed. Castiel was a mess; tattered trenchcoat and all. "What the hell are you doin' here? How did you get out of Purgatory?" He rubbed his temples, brow creased in display of his confusion.

"Like you, I had help in escaping Purgatory." Castiel stated simply, not giving Dean much of an explanation to work with.

"So what- are you saying it wasn't an angel friendly ride and you got someone else down there to bust you out that was human?" Dean asked in sheer disbelief. Why the _hell_ would there be other humans down in Purgatory? Nobody but Cas and Dean were gankin' douche bags like Dick Roman as far as he was concerned.

"It's.. difficult to explain." The angel struggled to elaborate, his ever pensive expression hardening as his gaze locked with Dean's. "Now isn't the time, Dean."

"What do you mean difficult to explain- and when _is _the time?" Anger bubbled in the pit of Dean's stomach, agitation evident in his tone of voice. But the look on Cas' face stopped Dean from pursuing information any further, pain swirling in his pale blue irises that were boring into his own eyes of a light green. "...We'll talk about it later. I'm just glad to have you back." He rubbed his temples, sighing deeply in frustration. "For now we need to talk about what we're doing here- because we've finally got a way to close the gates of hell for good. Lock every last one of those bastards up, no escape routes." Dean lit up, the thought of hunting filling him with a newfound joy. Was it ever good to be back in business. "Turns out theres another word of God, and it says everything we need to know. But... Crowley got a hold of it." Dean licked his lips, brow creasing.

"Only the prophet may read the tablet, so we should be fine for now." Castiel responded after taking in all of the information that Dean shared.

"...Yeah, Kevin kinda ditched us." Dean pursed his lips, lacing his fingers together as he sat there on the edge of the bed. "We gotta find him before Crowley does. So.. that's a start." He shrugged off their loss, just glad to be in the game again.

"Yes, I suppose that's what we'll have to do..." Castiel gave a soft nod of the head in recognition, frowning slightly at the complications the Winchesters were facing. Dean stood abruptly from the bed, walking over to Cas and dragging him into an embrace. He let go in Purgatory, but it wouldn't happen again. He wouldn't let it. He wasn't gonna let the angel down again. He had _promised_ they were going to get out of Purgatory together. He wasn't going to leave without him, and despite saying so, he did.

"It's good to have you back, buddy." Unlike the time in Purgatory when Dean hugged him, Castiel returned the gesture. A wave of relief washed over him. _Cas was really here. _His touch was confirming, the moment turning out to be one he really didn't want to pass.

"Where is Sam?" Castiel asked with a look around the room as he pulled out of the long since due hug with a pat on the back, noting that the younger and yet significantly taller Winchester was nowhere to be found.

"Out getting information on a case. Turns out we missed something when we were interviewing some chick, so he went back to ask her some questions." Dean ran his perfectly proportioned fingers through his short hair, going over to the fridge and pulling out a beer. It was 2PM somewhere, after all. No harm in the usual drink.

"I see." Castiel looked to the wooden floorboards. "Are you sure?"

"What the hell do you mean _am I sure_? The guy woke me up way too damn early just to let me know he was leavin', so I went back to bed." Dean retorted, taking a swig from the bottle in his hand after having cracked it open.

"Think about it, Dean." The angel insisted, putting his hands on either side of Dean's shoulders. "Where are you?"

Dean's eyes stressed to open, feeling as though they had been sewn shut. His surroundings were plain- a pure white. _He was in the hospital. _"..Cas?" He shifted and groaned in the hospital bed, head pounding. "Cas?" He spoke a little louder, his throat awfully dry.

"You're awake." Sam remarked with a smile of relief, having been sitting at Dean's bedside all this time.

"The hell are you talking about, Sam?" Dean demanded answers in a breathless tone.

"Don't you remember? You went back to interview that girl because you thought we missed something, and she _drugged_ you. We got you to the hospital as soon as we could. They pumped your stomach, Dean. You're gonna be alright." His brother smiled reassuringly, patting his brother's arm. "They say it's going to be a while for the effects of the drug to die down, though. So you have to stay in bed."

"You know me better than that. Let's get the hell outta here. I'll be fine." He strained to sit up, vision blurring momentarily and causing him to squeeze his eyes shut a few times.

"Lay back down. You're only going to get yourself hurt." _That voice._

"Cas? Aw, man. Must've been some really bad drugs. I mean, I can't even remember you getting out." He laughed, wincing as he tried to stand up but sat right back down with Cas' help.

"What do you mean 'Cas'?" Sam's brow furrowed, looking around the room. "Dean, it's just me and you in here."

"Don't screw around, Sam. I just woke up. That's not funny." Dean scoffed, hands in his lap as he sat on the edge of the hospital bed. His brother stood up from his chair at the bedside, gesturing to the rest of the room with an 'are you an idiot?' look on his face. "What's your problem?"

"You need to lay down and get some rest. They said it could cause hallucinations, so you need to wait a while." Sam replied while crossing his arms.

"I'm not seeing things, Sam. I think I can tell the difference between hallucinations and reality." Dean snapped at him defensively, beginning to get really pissed off.

"Dean. I'm sorry, but Cas isn't here. You said he didn't make it, remember?" Sam raised his voice to counter Dean's outburst.

"You're kidding." Dean huffed, wrapping his arms around his own stomach and staring at the floor. "Then get out of here and let me rest. I don't need you bugging me. Go work on the case. The job doesn't stop just because I'm under the weather."

"Okay." Sam's expression was one of his usual concern for his older brother as he walked out of the room, leaving Dean to sit there on the edge of the hospital bed. Dean began to rub at his temples, inhaling deeply.

"Dean?"

"You're not actually there, Cas." Dean put his head in his hands in frustration, verbally shooing the apparent hallucination.

"Perhaps I'm not, but I'm quite real to you." Castiel responded, sitting down beside Dean on the bed and looking over at him. "Your subconscious seems to want me here."

"Well what do you expect, you're in freakin' Purgatory. You let go." Dean bit his lower lip angrily. "We were supposed to get out together, remember Cas?"

"I remember." Castiel nodded calmly, letting silence fill the room for a long moment before speaking up again. "I have to leave soon."

"I know," The hunter mumbled hesitantly, not quite wanting Castiel to go despite being a mere hallucination. It was like one pleasant dream out of the stack of nightmares he had every time he laid his head down at night. Nightmares of Lisa, of Ben. The memory of Sammy dying and him having sold his own soul just to get him back. His dad, selling his soul for him. His mother, turning out to have struck a deal much like the rest of the Winchesters. A curse. So why couldn't he have this one _good_ dream? The dream that Castiel was here and out of Purgatory, and it was going to go away and never come back. Unlike the horrific nightmares of a vivid nature that devoured him night after night. He spent _so much time_ looking for Cas in Purgatory, and after having finally found him he still couldn't manage to get the both of them out alive. Together, like he said they would. He practically lied to the angel's face. "_I know._" he whispered to the empty space next to him, head in his hands.


End file.
